 |
The Fractured Publisher A Humorous Gallery of Press Releases |
 |
||
| Back Issues Staff Submissions Disclaimer | ||||
|
Current Articles:
|
What to do with Spam
You've all seen them, probably received them, and cursed them. You know, SPAM, affectionately known around here as Stupidity Pins aimed @ me! These emails usually arrive to my mailbox via the artfully crafted dark magic of a wizard's spell known as: "Never seen a filter that can stop me." Once they arrive, all other email I truly wished to receive is whisked away to never never land to disappear into the event horizon of email black holes, never to be seen again. Never! I warn you now, SPAM is a clever trap to lure you into the dark forest. Don't follow! Nothing good dwells within! Remember Snow White and Sleeping Beauty? If it's too good to be true, it probably is, and unlike Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, you won't have a gang of dwarves or a failsafe enchantment to get you out of trouble! SPAM promises to make your dwarf taller or your feet shrink to fit that glass slipper, or even guarantees you a loan on a new castle at such a deal you'll find yourself itching to reply. Again, don't! The dwarf won't grow, the feet won't shrink and the castle will turn out to be a half eaten candy cottage with a couple of pudgy, and might I add, hungry neighbor kids hanging around! SPAM promises vitamins to lengthen and strengthen your hair so you'll be ready when the prince comes calling beneath your tower cell. Don't you believe it. If you do, you'll end up with hair so brittle and weak (if you don't go bald first or have your locks turn green!), that when your prince finally arrives and asks that you let down your hair so he may climb to you, the strands will break and send him crashing to the ground. Not good. Not good at all. These Stupidity Pins aimed @ me carry little crier scrolls that announce with glee that I've won a date with Prince Charming, or an all expense paid trip to the magical forest. While they tempt me with pictures of vine-covered castles set high on snow-covered peaks and princes with sparkling white teeth riding dazzling stallions, the truth is, if I succumb, I wind up a bag or two of gold poorer and left sitting in a pile of pumpkin slime with a few white mice and a fat rat staring at me! So, repeat after me, Stupidity Pins aimed @ me otherwise known as SPAM are clever crafty black magic designed to steal your wits and your gold. Don't be a victim of Stupidity…hit the magic delete button and save your gold for a rainy day.
|
|||
|
All content of The Fractured Publisher is © Copyright 2007 by The Fractured Publisher and/or the individual author and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without express written consent. |
||||