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Revenge of the Clichéd Characters Part Four

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Into the Dark Wood, Sort of....
Revenge of the Clichéd Characters
Part Four

by Sheri L. McGathy

Part One: The Quest
Part Two: Call to Council
Part Three: Council Orders
Part Four:
Into the Dark Wood, Sort of...

Part Five: Great Balls of Fire!!!
Part Six: Gritchey's Escape


 

Gritchy stood in the very center of the crossroads, scratching his beard and mumbling, "I just do not know, I just do not."

"You do not know?" Shar-rhea-a silently stepped to his right and whispered for his ears only. "Then tell me dwarf, what are we to do?"

Before Gritchy could answer, Sing, the singing sword began to warble, "The dwarf is lost, the dwarf is lost, oh woe to us, the dwarf is lost."

Gritchy hefted his ax and pointed the sharp blade toward the sword strapped to the elf's back. "Silence that creature, Shar-rhea-a, or I swear I shall do it for you."

The elf frowned and pushed the ax away. "If only I could find a way to do just that." She glared over her shoulder at Cahil where he leaned against a tree. As usual, he was smiling at her. "Trust me, I would need no assistance from you."

"Wow, this is plain bogus, dude." Gregg, the rock troll's surprisingly high-pitched voice disturbed the stillness of the forest. "Don't none of you know where the Dark Wood is?" The glow of his cigarette grew brighter as he puffed upon it. Blowing smoke out his nose, he added, "I mean, what sort of fantasy creatures are you, anyway, if you can't even find your way through fantasy land?"

"A question I keep asking myself, troll, each time you open your mouth," Gritchy growled.

"Oh dear," BOB the pixie started to whimper. "It's growing late, the forest will soon be dark, what are we going to do?"

Cahil stepped from the shade of the trees and boldly strolled forward, stopping near the tall grass growing at the far edge of the crossroads. Leaning down, he brushed the long shafts aside and said, "We follow the sign."

BOB ran forward, his hands clasped before him and leaned in to stare at the scribbling upon the weathered sign.

After a long silence while the small troupe waited patiently as the tiny pixie studied the words, Sing finally sang out, "What does it say, pray tell, what does it say?"

BOB shrugged. "I don't know, I can't read!"

"Oh great goddess, save me from such fools," Shar-rhea-a said between clenched teeth as she pushed the pixie aside and read aloud, "To enter the Dark Wood, clasp hands, stand here – Note: Due to the Faery Dust shortage, we can provide only one magical transportation a day."

Her gaze followed the direction of the pointing arrow painted on the bottom of the sign. She laughed as she saw the rough X carved into the top of a large rock several paces away. The rock's relatively small top surface was rounded and covered with moss. It would barely hold her and Sing, much less the rest of them. She eyed the huge rock troll and sighed. No way were they all going to fit on that rock.

Shar-rhea-a arched a brow at Cahil. "Any suggestions?"

Cahil smiled. "Gregg, my friend, I knew you were going to come in handy. Now, here's what we need to do."

* * *

"Gritchy, Cahil said, hand me those vines. Shar-rhea-a, help me tie these naysayers to Gregg's back. BOB, get out of the way!"

After securing the authors to the troll's back, Cahil said, "Okay, Gregg, now us."

"Watch where you rest your hand, Cahil," Shar-rhea-a warned as Gregg gathered them all into his embrace and slowly lumbered toward the rock.

Gregg tried several times to step up onto the rock, but the weight he carried kept throwing him off balance and landing them all on the ground.

Finally, Gritchy yelled, "Just sit on it!"

Gregg plopped down with a heavy sigh. "Now what?"

In answer to the troll's question, the tree leaves began to rustle, causing a fine silvery powder to rain down upon them.

"Umm, Gregg," BOB'S muffled voice echoed out of Cahil's vest pocket, "I don't think you should be smoking around Faery Dust, I've heard it's highly—

Before BOB could finish his sentence, the Faery Dust ignited in a cloud of flame. At the same time, the portal opened to the Dark Wood, sending them hurdling down the passageway chased by a red, hot fireball.

 

 

 

   

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