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Services: 

Professional Faerie Swatter services available. Have fearie swatter, will travel.  Will swat any breed of faerie, assorted pixies, or other obnoxious mythical creatures with wings. 

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LOST & FOUND

Slightly used muse. Claims to have been the property of a celebrity author but refuses to divulge the celebrity's name in fear that she will be forced to inspire another poorly written children's book.

(While the staff is often in need of a good muse, We're going to have to pass on this one - she's been too severely misused.)

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Wanted: Still looking for a better ending for Pirates of the Caribbean III.

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Mythical beast seeks a real relationship with imaginary creatures of any type.

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Key to Looking for Love ads:

S - Single
B - blue or black
F - Female
M - Male
D - Dragon
W - Wyvern
VB - Vorpal Bunny

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Wanted: Author looking to buy some sanity.
Anyone with some to spare can call: 555-REAL

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NOTICE: Out of work main character seeks position in novel. Will accept supporting character and obscure scenery object roles. Experience in portraying plants and trees and basic shrubbery. Please contact me at rentacharacter@storybook.com.
 

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Wanted: Time

Author in need of time for sale. Hours, minutes or even mille-seconds. Top dollar paid

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Support your local writers/starving artists at the annual 'Local Writers/Starving Artists Support Festival'. They really need the money or a place to stay. Non-perishable food donations accepted.

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SD of undisclosed sex seeks hibernation partner to share warmth and mid-winter snack. Prefers warm blooded companion (with low IQ)

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Extraneous Characters needed:
no clichés please. Must have prior experience as a background performer. No divas or sidekicks with delusions of grandeur need apply.