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Cliff Diving

Boxer Spotting

The Flaming Critic

The History of Boxer Spotting
(or one woman's obsession and how it spread to engulf an entire writers' group)

Once upon a time there was a very professional group of writers who existed peacefully at the Chaos Manor. These fantasy and science fiction writers were working on their novels and stories while they pursued that elusive goal of publication. Most of the writers were serious professionals. *note: many of the members have achieved publication since that time*

But one day that changed...

*insert scary music here*

A fantasy writer from Ohio stumbled onto the group and although some of the members hoped she would lose interest and go away, she stayed...and stayed...and stayed...

Not only did Tina not go away (she was convinced she could be a published writer too) she disrupted the group with stories of "White Boxer Shorts". (inspired by Oded Fehr's character in Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo)

Much to the chagrin of the male members of the group, this off-topic discussion soon spread to the majority of the female writers. Links were traded and drool shorted out more than one keyboard.

While there have been protests from the male contingency, they've been known to bring up the subject on more than one occasion and that has led to speculation that they secretly enjoy the conversations.

The jokes that have flowed through the group inspired one of the weekly exercises. The stories had to contain the following elements:

*  white boxer shorts
*  tuna salad or sandwich
*  talking rodents, sunflower seeds
*  naked 50 year old women
*  at least three other group members
*  the white stuff at the bottom of the cliff couldn't be marshmallow cream (keep it under an X rating) 
*  diving (or being pushed) off the groups' infamous cyber cliff (see our Sports section for an explanation).

What a project to give a group of fantasy writers! Needless to say imaginations ran amuck and hilarity ensued.

Bob Nailor took the record for the fewest number of words with his 280 word flash fiction piece:

It was a cold and dreary night, the rain drizzling down their faces when Tina wiped her face to rid it of the unwanted moisture.

"I can't believe I just did that," she mumbled.

"Did what?" Carol hissed. "Crap, even my tuna sandwich is soggy."

"Uh, nothing," Tina replied.

Carol looked down at Tina's hand. The white boxer shorts were a sopping rag.

"You didn't," Carol hissed.

"What'd she do?" Lea chimed in. "C'mon. Tell us."

"She wiped her face with them," Carol whispered. "She used the sacred boxers as a wash cloth."

Moira, Ki, Jeanine, Anne, Val and Beth stopped walking and everyone stared at Tina.

"After we bartered all our sunflower seeds to that stupid, talking gerbil," Val wailed. "If BOB, ROB and DARIN hadn't pushed them over the cliff."

"Don't worry," Tina said. "They're fine. Trust me."

"Well, I believe somebody with a bit of matronly honor should carry them from now on," Lea said.

"Oh," Tina said. "And that would be you?"

"Well," Lea said. "Even if we were a bunch of naked, fifty year old women, even eighty year old women, out in this crappy weather, I don't think any of us would have desecrated this holy of holy shrines."

"Fine," Tina shouted. "Take them." She handed the boxers to Lea.

"I take exception to you saying we're old women," Carol said. "Why should you carry them?"

Tina shifted her eyes to watch the others. The rain hid the smile. "Yes," she screamed silently in her mind. "Yes, my face has been blessed and caressed. Thanks to the lower gods: Bob, Rob and Darin for throwing them
over the cliff into the "could be" marshmallow cream."

Several of the group members have graciously volunteered to allow us to reprint their stories. We hope you enjoy them as much as we enjoyed writing them.

The Great Boxer Caper
by Tina Morgan

Rodent Revenge
by Lea Docken

Priorities
by Kevin Tisserand

The Ritual
by Carol Hightshoe

Boxer Thief
by Lee Masterson

The Boxer Rebellion
by Moira Allen

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