|
Current Articles:
The Great Fanquest
Setting
the Record
Straight
Trials of a
Mid-list Author
The Secret
Regular Columns
Cliff Diving
Boxer Spotting
The Flaming
Critic
|
|
Rodent Revenge
by Lea Docken
The Bobs just finished climbing the mountain and were tired.
Despite the cool air they were hot from all the exertion. They stripped
as one down to their white boxer shorts to cool down. As a well-oiled
unit the picnic was laid out, 6 Tuna Salad Sandwiches, Cole slaw, baked
beans, marshmallow cream pie, and chips.
They drank their beer and ate and ate and ate. Suddenly they
heard voices. The Bobs were startled. The Bobs looked around, then at
each other. They were horrified to realize they were still in their
boxer shorts. They fell all over each other and the food trying to get
dressed. Bob had his jeans on and Bob had his t-shirt on giant rodents
munching on sunflower seeds stopped at their picnic spot.
"I say there," the tallest said. "Have you seen a woman roaming around
here?"
The Bobs stared in wonder, "No we are…uh were…ah am…us …the only
ones here." Stumbled out of The Bob’s mouth.
"We found her clothes a-ways back and want to give them back to
her." The shorter rodent said with a gleam in her eye.
"And why would we know anything about a naked woman…we just got
here. And what is a naked woman doing up here anyway. It is too cool to
be without clothes." The rodents, dressed in their hiking outfits,
intently looked at the Bobs.
"Hey!" The Bobs said, "Quit looking at us like that. We are not going to
be your lunch! No way!"
"Our lunch? See here old man…we have just finished our lunch and
are snacking on sunflower seeds. I see your food is all over the place.
Would you like a sunflower seed? And help dressing and cleaning up." The
taller Rodent said. "My name is Marshall Rodent and this is Marsha."
"Bob and BOB." The Bobs nodded as one. "Pleased to meet you."
Marshall and Marsha helped clean up the mess. Then helped the Bobs clean
themselves up. The Bobs offered to share what was left of the Cole slaw
along with the wine they brought.
"Well, this is very nice." Marsha said. "We live down the mountain pass
and seldom see anyone up here. It is nice to have visitors. Don’t you
agree Marshall?"
"Yes Marsha." Marshall said as he dabbed his mouth with a napkin.
"As a matter, you may want to stop for dinner on your way down the
mountain. My Marsha here is a great cook. She is fixing her famous
mountain stew tonight with salad and crackers."
The Bobs who had never been invited to a rodent’s home let alone
to a dinner party accepted. After all, they could use a rest on the way
down the mountain. They were afraid of the dark and decided it would be
a great place to stay the night if they got caught. They didn’t want the
Mountain Moogy Man to take them.
It was dusk when The Bobs finally arrived at the Rodent’s house
on the side of a cliff overlooking a lower pass. Marshall met them at
the door, ushered them inside and handed them drinks.
"Let’s go out on the terrace," Marshall said, "The view is fantastic."
"Wow this view is great." The Bobs said. "Hmmmmmm Something sure smells
great!"
Marshall smiled crookedly and said.
"It is Marsha’s stew. We
seldom have company."
"DO NOT TRUST THE RODENTS!!!" They turned to where the screams were
coming from. "DO NOT TRUST THE RODENTSS!"
Marshall sighed and excused
himself. The screaming came closer. The Bobs heard Marshall talking
softly to someone. They turned the direction of his voice.
"Now listen Tina. We've had this conversation before. I want you to
stop this nonsense." Marshall said. "You are just making a fool of
yourself and embarrassing your neighbors in the bargain. What would K’lyssa
think?"
"We'll never know!" Tina yelled her gray hair flying in the
wind. "You ate her last week!"
"Now, now, you know that is not true. She is home waiting
on you. Go and see." Marshall said gently. Suddenly the leaves went
flying everywhere as the woman streaked by Marshall screaming louder
still.
"DO NOT TRUST THE RODENTS!!! THEY WILL TRICK YOU AND..." Her voice
trailed off as she went over the cliff. The Bobs thought they were
going to faint. The sight of a fifty-year-old naked woman did nothing
for their appetite.
"Did you see her fall?" The Bobs hung on to the railing for support.
"Alas, an unfortunate accident!" Marshall said. But the glint in
his eyes told the Bobs it was no accident. "Come let us go see how
Marsha is coming with that stew."
"Actually," The Bobs said feeling a bit woozy, "We need to get going. We
have a Bobs meeting in town we need to get to."
"Nonsense,"
Marshall grinned. "We invited you for dinner and we shall." Marshall put
his strong arms around The Bobs and ushered them inside.
The last thing
the Bobs heard before Marshall closed and locked the patio doors was "DO
NOT TRUST THE RODENTS!"
© Copyright 2004 Lea Docken
HOME
|
