******************************

Wanted: Time

Author in need of time for sale. Hours, minutes or even mille-seconds. Top dollar paid

******************************

The Ballad of Billibud Baddings!
Sheri L. McGathy

I was emotionally drained and physically tired,
After yet another long day that left me totally fried.

Yet as I turned on the computer and adjusted the screen,
I couldn’t stop my pulse from racing, nor contain my glee.

A click of the mouse,
A snap of my wrist,
And there it was,
The contest list!

ARGH! I yelled as I stared at that screen.
That dang Billibud Baddings was listed again!

This year just keeps getting worse and worse!
Whatever did I do to be so cursed?

What must I do? What more must happen,
before I see the end of Billibud Baddings?

Contest after contest,
Award after award,
Billibud is there with his accursed singing sword!

That dwarf haunts me,
He taunts me,
He counters my every move.

He mocks me, shadows me,
He assures that I lose.
His very name foreshadows my impending doom!

I promise you this,
I know this is true,
An ulcer I'll get,
If Billibud Baddings isn't removed!

Come on, Mr. T,
Give the rest of us a break,
Isn't there at least one award you'd forsake?

And I tell you right now,
Just so you know,
For the sake of my sanity,
Your dwarf must go!

What's that you say? A sequel is near?
We'll see a lot more of Billibud in the coming year!!!

I curse the words as they float past my ears.

How could I handle that dwarf for another year?

No contest would be given, nor award granted,
That didn't contain the words Billibud Baddings!!!!!!

And so I ask again, before I slip into obscurity,
"What must I do? What more must happen?
Before I see the end of that dang Billibud Baddings?"

 *****************************

 We interrupt this news page for
    an important announcement.
 

The Fractured Publisher is in need of content. If you think you have what it takes to write warped and cracked prose while promoting your favorite e-books and small press authors, please check our Submissions Page

Thank you...we now return you to the madness.

********************************

Wanted: Miracle worker

One miracle worker is needed in southern Ohio to piece together the pages of a dog eaten manuscript.

Must not be afraid to work with dog drool soaked paper and must be willing to tolerate the loud sobbing of the hysterical author.

No reasonable offer will be refused, though author does draw the line at paying for this service with her soul.

****************************

Newsflash!!

FP Editors nominated for prestigious awards!

This reporter has just learned that our very own Managing Editor, Sheri L McGathy has been nominated for ForeWord Magazine's Book of the Year with Trespassing Time: Ghost Tales from the Prairie.

Valerie Griswold-Ford, one of our short story editors has also been nominated for Book of the Year with the first installment of her new series: Not Your Father's Horsemen.

You can't go wrong with either of these books. Both are five bonfire reads!

****************************
 

Confessions of a Scapegoat
Carol Hightshoe

At last, Pandora has come forward to tell her side of the ancient legend, which blames her for all the ills now suffered by mankind.

In The Gift of All, Pandora   tells how she first awoke on Olmpus, was given the cursed chest by Zeus and then
manipulated by the Gods into opening the thing.

According to Pandora it is the Gods who are to blame--not her.
"Besides, what reason would Man have to worship the Gods, ask for their help and
make sacrifices if he never faced troubles and sorrows?"

Read this first hand account from the woman who has long been the focus of blame and hatred on the part of man. Listen as she tells how she
herself was deceived, and became only another pawn in the games played by the Gods.

****************************
  Missing Muse Still Sought

SF/F Writer Carol Hightshoe is still searching for her missing muse.

Leathan, who normally takes the shape of a large gray wolf, has been missing for several months. This has been creating havoc with Carol's writing as she can't seem to decide what to focus on from one day to the next and has even had trouble deciding
if the first novel in her Chaos Reigns Series is a novel or a novella and has
been considering combining it with the second. Last time she looked at it, she considering rewriting the whole thing from a different POV.

Carol's husband, Tim, has been trying to help by doing his own nipping and
harassment when he catches her not working, but that seems to causing its
own distractions.

She really needs her muse back.

At last report, Leathan had been traveling around as a slightly scruffy looking ranger from the north. Rumors now claim he has taken up Nerf herding and has been seen in the company of a large walking carpet and a princess who is in need of a good kiss.

Anyone knowing the location of Carol's muse or of another muse looking for an author should contact her immediately.