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NEWSFLASH:
Dragon Sighting may Explain cult of naked women!
**************************
Yes, I said naked women!
And that's all I can say because my managing editor says this is a
PG website.
***
(But if you're really curious, just check out Carol Hightshoe's
reporting on the
Dragon
Sighting page!)
****************************
WANTED
Lion Tamer
To trim indoor cat's claws. Cat
has been known to shred the flesh of brawny adults when attempts
were made to trim his claws. Applicant must have own tools, a good
medical plan and a willingness to brave death.
*****************************

*****************************
MISSING MUSE SOUGHT
SF/F writer Carol Hightshoe is looking for her missing muse. He
normally answers to the name of Leathan and takes the shape of a
large gray wolf who likes to nip at her ankles when she been playing
too much EverQuest, Minesweeper or other similar computer games and
not spending the time writing like she should. Recently, her muse
has been taking the form of a
slightly scruffy looking ranger from the north. Which, needless to
say has proven to be a distraction in and of itself.
The other day, her muse was no longer scruffy looking and had a
female elf with him - now both have vanished and she has been left
without a muse.
Anyone knowing the location of Carol's muse or of another muse
looking for an author should contact Carol immediately.
*****************************
Don't forget to Take the
Fractured Publisher's Personality Quiz and find
out just how fractured you
really are!!!

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*****************************
We interrupt this news page for
an important announcement.
The Fractured Publisher is in need
of content. If you think you have what it takes to write warped and
cracked prose while promoting your favorite e-books and small press
authors, please check our
Submissions
Page.
Thank you...we now return you to
the madness.
****************************
NEWSFLASH:
Reviewer finds out just how dangerous it is to give a Harry Potter
book a bad review! Read what happens when fans revolt!
Reviewer
Beware!
******************************

******************************
Wanted: Time
Author in need of time for sale.
Hours, minutes or even mille-seconds. Top dollar paid
******************************
Found: one overactive imagination.
If you've lost one, PLEASE come get it! It's creating havoc with the
rest of the staff. They say it's warping their own imaginations and
their stories are becoming perverted.
PLEASE
come claim this overactive imagination if it's yours because you
can't envision what it's like living with a half dozen dragons who's
stories are in a twist.
*****************************
Mysterious whisperings have
been heard coming from the FantasyWriter's Motel. Author Sheri L.
McGathy was overheard saying:
"I tell you right now,
Just so you know,
For the sake of my sanity
That dwarf's gotta go!"
Be sure to check back next issue
of the Fractured Publisher as we try to discover the meaning of this
cryptic threat.
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