The Fractured Publisher

A Humorous Gallery of Press Releases

     Back Issues        Staff            Submissions    Services     Disclaimer

 

Current Stories:
 

Gritchy's Escape
 Revenge of the Clichéd Characters Part Six

Censored!

What's in a Name?


 
Classifieds


 


 
Regular Columns:

Cliff Diving

Boxer Spotting

The Flaming Critic

 

 

 

 

 

******************************

Living in Fantasy Land:
Is it really a fantasy?
by Sheri L. McGathy

Have you ever had one of those days? You know, the kind that nothing goes right, no matter how hard you try? Or Mr. Murphy Law comes to call and catches you totally off guard? 

I know I have, but they are usually few and far between, unlike all those poor characters dwelling in the realms of fairy tales and nursery rhymes! Man, do they ever have a close relationship with, "What the heck?"

Humpity Dumpity, aka Humpty Dumpty, immediately comes to mind. You know, he had a great fall and no one could patch him up? I've often wondered about that whole fiasco. First off, I really must ask, what was an egg doing perched up high on a wall with no safety net in place? Second, where was Mother Goose while all this was going on? Shouldn't she have had safety procedures in place as well as emergency repair plans? Not a very good way to run Gooseland! But let's be fair, maybe Ms G. did have all her safety precautions in order and an emergency plan in place. I guess all the King's horses and all the King's men sort of qualify. If you ask me, the egg was having a really bad day or he was scrambled. Maybe both! What's a goose to do when faced with those odds?

And how about Jack and Jill? Man, were they ever having a bad day when they went to fetch that water. Jack should have stayed home, and then maybe Jill could have managed to fetch the water without tumbling down the hill.

Then we have poor Georgie Porgie. First poor fellow for the name, it's no wonder that when he kissed the girls, they cried. Would you want to be Mrs. Porgie? Of course, in Mother Gooseland, boys are made of "Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails!" I'd cry, too, if that was all I had to choose from! And we won't even discuss why Georgie Porgie ran away when the other boys came out to play. Can you spell whopping, boys and girls?

And I ask you, what about poor Old Mother Hubbard and the day she had with that dog of hers? Was that a Mr. Murphy Law day, or what?

It also occurs to me, that if you're a wolf, a bear, or a witch in either of these places, it would be in your best interest to stay clear of kids in red cloaks, kids with golden locks, and kids who try to eat your house! Oh heck, just stay clear of kids and you'll probably have a good day!

So, my advice to everyone: the next time you're having "one of those days," just be thankful you don't live in fantasyland! Rarely do they have a good day!


artwork by T.A. Markitan

 *****************************

 
 

****************************

Congratulations

to Fractured Publisher Editors Tina Morgan and Carol Hightshoe for their participation in the 2008 EPPIE winning

The Complete Guide to Writing Science Fiction

****************************

Taylor was a Sailor
by Clifford A. Hui

Years ago lived a young man named Taylor
With a day job of being a sailor.
He’d go out in his boat
And sea monsters he’d smote.
At least that’s how he told of it later.

Many damsels he charmed with his tales.
Many friendships he made buying ales.
He became so renown
That the King came to town
To hear Taylor tell tales of mean whales.

Our man Taylor had many a story
About fighting big monsters all gory.
Well, the king thought them neat
And said one should compete
For the kingdom’s best fictional story.

So then Taylor cooked up a long great one
About mermaids and monsters and mayhem.
All the judges just loved it
And they all voted for it.
That’s how Taylor became the new champion.

Famous Taylor’s a sailor no more.
He just looks at the sea from the shore.
He’s a landlubber now
But he loves it (and how!)
For he’s wealthy from writing his lore.


Cliff's Bio:
From a science career Cliff
   retired
Where in drab tech reports
   he was mired.
He loves writing fiction
With its action and diction
Now all of his writings'
    inspired

 *****************************

ADVERTISEMENT

Basement apartment for rent
Amenities include rumpus room complete with Chocolate Slip-n-Slide, Whip Cream Twister and authentic Wack-a-Vorpal-Bunny arcade game.

Rent starts at 50 Spartans per month, leather jockies required.

 *****************************

WANTED

The will to write. Local author offers her first born child in exchange for a muse that actually works.

*****************************

 

 

   


HOME

All content of The Fractured Publisher is © Copyright 2006-2008 by The Fractured Publisher and/or the individual author and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without express written consent.