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A Fantasy List Christmas
'Twas
the Night Before Christmas
And all through the list
Merry writers were scribbling
By the Muse had been kissed
The words, they were flowing with whimsical speed
Producing a flurry of absolute glee
Or, in the case of one writer, absolute gloom,
For her plots were filled with terror and doom.
The boxers were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that dear Oded, soon would be there....
When in through the door he stepped with a bow
Since we write fantasy, I don't have to say how.
The ladies were waiting, even the one writing doom
Awaiting a bare-bottomed Oded to enter the room.
Carol was nestled all snug in her bed
While her taser sat charging on the stand near her head
When out on the internet there arose such a clatter
We thought it to be Tina carrying a ladder
None had seen her, she wouldn't appear
How could it be she would miss Oded's rear?
And there on the monitor, to everyone's surprise
A dancing reindeer, an elf, and two bags of fries
Leading a chocolate dragon (or Two)
To the cliff diving events (With Oded, ensue)
Then to the window flew Kev like a flash,
Tore open the shutter, then threw up on Slash
When what to his wondering eyes did appear
but BOB and ROB with a full keg of beer!
They filled all the glasses,
filled them with cheer
Hoping for Santa and of course, his reindeer.
But to their surprise and beyond all doubt
Here came Michele with vorpal bunnies out
The bunnies they caused a great clatter
Eating the cookies and breaking the platter
They tore down the boxers and ran through the house
Scaring the ladies and startling a mouse
Tina arrived with a posse of Spartans
Clad not in leather but loincloths of Tartans
The bunnies knocked over the candles starting a fire
And the fake Christmas tree smelled like a burning tire
A righting the tree,
extinguishing the flame
It was obvious that BOB would be getting the blame.
Then Santa arrived with a full bag of stuff
Attempting to end all this poetry fluff.
The presents were arranged
with precision and flair
Worried that Carol or Kevin would truly care
A row of books with their pages so clean
To be filled with writing, both tight and lean
Getting vorpal rabbits into rank and file
Michele looked about with a definite smile
Together with Tina to the yard she went
They were totally exhausted, totally spent
Then all made to their
bedrooms to peel kerchief and cap
For with bared Oded there none would dare take a nap
For of all the fine gifts, both the large and the small
Oded's bare bottomed prize was the dearest of all.
Whipping the pachyderms into the air
The talking gerbil sat up in its chair
"Off we go, to the stars of the night
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good write!"
Contributors:
Bob Nailor
Michele Acker
Debralee
Daniels
Rob Durney
Sheri
L. McGathy (Thanks Sheri for getting us started!)
Tina Morgan
Dana Sisson
Jennifer St.
Clair
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Congratulations
to Fractured Publisher Editor Carol
Hightshoe
for the recent nomination of "A Time To..." anthology
for a 2007 Tiptree award.
Carol continues to showcase her
talent as an editor with this collection of stories, selected from
her Lorelei
Signal ezine.
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NEWSFLASH!!!
Missing 'W' was discovered
wandering around downtown disguised as an 'M' wearing dark
sunglasses. Authorities have returned the letter to its home as the
23rd letter. When questioned about its disappearance, the 'W'
replied, "It was so easy to flip over walk on my hands. I wanted to
view the world through 'M's eyes. When asked what the 'W' saw it
replied, "Pretty much the same thing a 'W' would only upside down."
Needless to say evil villains are celebrating the return of 'W'.
They are back to wreaking havoc on the world and being taken
seriously again. Can I get a 'Mwahahahahaha"?
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LAMENT To HUMOR
by Sheri L McGathy
Oh where, oh where
has my humor gone?
Oh where, oh where can it be?
With my muse cut short,
and my temper long,
oh where, oh where can it be?
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LOCAL WRITER FOUND COMATOSE
Witnesses say a local writer was
found comatose at her computer this past weekend.
Doctors say they were able to
revive her by telling her that she'd only been waiting two months
for a reply to her last submission and not the two years she's
actually waited.
"It was cruel to lie to her, but
it was the only way we could get her moving again," said a
confidential source from the local hospital.
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NEWSFLASH!
The staff of the Fractured
Publisher is following a lead in the case of a missing muse. Rumors
are that the muse is hiding at a four star spa in the Netherlands.
Investigative reports have led to
the possible discovery of a "muse hideout", believed to be were
muses go to rest when they've been overtaxed by their writers.
If the hideout is discovered, this
could mean the end of writer's block the world over.
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