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A Fantasy List Christmas

'Twas the Night Before Christmas
And all through the list
Merry writers were scribbling
By the Muse had been kissed
 
The words, they were flowing with whimsical speed
Producing a flurry of absolute glee
Or, in the case of one writer, absolute gloom,
For her plots were filled with terror and doom.
 
The boxers were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that dear Oded, soon would be there....
When in through the door he stepped with a bow
Since we write fantasy, I don't have to say how.
 
The ladies were waiting, even the one writing doom
Awaiting a bare-bottomed Oded to enter the room.
Carol was nestled all snug in her bed
While her taser sat charging on the stand near her head
 
When out on the internet there arose such a clatter
We thought it to be Tina carrying a ladder
None had seen her, she wouldn't appear
How could it be she would miss Oded's rear?
 
And there on the monitor, to everyone's surprise
A dancing reindeer, an elf, and two bags of fries
Leading a chocolate dragon (or Two)
To the cliff diving events (With Oded, ensue)
 
Then to the window flew Kev like a flash,
Tore open the shutter, then threw up on Slash
When what to his wondering eyes did appear
but BOB and ROB with a full keg of beer!

They filled all the glasses, filled them with cheer
Hoping for Santa and of course, his reindeer.
But to their surprise and beyond all doubt
Here came Michele with vorpal bunnies out
 
The bunnies they caused a great clatter
Eating the cookies and breaking the platter
They tore down the boxers and ran through the house
Scaring the ladies and startling a mouse
 
Tina arrived with a posse of Spartans
Clad not in leather but loincloths of Tartans
The bunnies knocked over the candles starting a fire
And the fake Christmas tree smelled like a burning tire

A righting the tree, extinguishing the flame
It was obvious that BOB would be getting the blame.
Then Santa arrived with a full bag of stuff
Attempting to end all this poetry fluff.

The presents were arranged with precision and flair
Worried that Carol or Kevin would truly care
A row of books with their pages so clean
To be filled with writing, both tight and lean
 
Getting vorpal rabbits into rank and file
Michele looked about with a definite smile
Together with Tina to the yard she went
They were totally exhausted, totally spent

Then all made to their bedrooms to peel kerchief and cap
For with bared Oded there none would dare take a nap
For of all the fine gifts, both the large and the small
Oded's bare bottomed prize was the dearest of all.
 
Whipping the pachyderms into the air
The talking gerbil sat up in its chair
"Off we go, to the stars of the night
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good write!"

Contributors:

Bob Nailor
Michele Acker
Debralee Daniels
Rob Durney
Sheri L. McGathy (Thanks Sheri for getting us started!)
Tina Morgan
Dana Sisson
Jennifer St. Clair

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Congratulations

to Fractured Publisher Editor Carol Hightshoe
for the recent nomination of "A Time To..." anthology for a 2007 Tiptree award.

Carol continues to showcase her talent as an editor with this collection of stories, selected from her Lorelei Signal ezine.

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NEWSFLASH!!!

Missing 'W' was discovered wandering around downtown disguised as an 'M' wearing dark sunglasses. Authorities have returned the letter to its home as the 23rd letter.  When questioned about its disappearance, the 'W' replied, "It was so easy to flip over walk on my hands. I wanted to view the world through 'M's eyes. When asked what the 'W' saw it replied,  "Pretty much the same thing a 'W' would only upside down."

Needless to say evil villains are celebrating the return of 'W'. They are back to wreaking havoc on the world and being taken seriously again. Can I get a 'Mwahahahahaha"?

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LAMENT To HUMOR
by Sheri L McGathy

Oh where, oh where
has my humor gone?
Oh where, oh where can it be?

With my muse cut short,
and my temper long,
oh where, oh where can it be?

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LOCAL WRITER FOUND COMATOSE

Witnesses say a local writer was found comatose at her computer this past weekend.

Doctors say they were able to revive her by telling her that she'd only been waiting two months for a reply to her last submission and not the two years she's actually waited.

"It was cruel to lie to her, but it was the only way we could get her moving again," said a confidential source from the local hospital.

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NEWSFLASH!

The staff of the Fractured Publisher is following a lead in the case of a missing muse. Rumors are that the muse is hiding at a four star spa in the Netherlands.

Investigative reports have led to the possible discovery of a "muse hideout", believed to be were muses go to rest when they've been overtaxed by their writers.

If the hideout is discovered, this could mean the end of writer's block the world over.